Glossary of Terms and Abbreviations
New to personal ads and casual encounter listings? Here's a guide to the common abbreviations, terms, and lingo you'll see on this site and in the broader hookup/swinger/dating community.
Gender and Pairing Abbreviations
The format is simple: who you are + 4 (meaning "looking for") + who you want.
| Abbreviation | Meaning |
|---|---|
| m | Man (single male) |
| w | Woman (single female) |
| mw or mf | Male/Female couple |
| mm | Multiple men (two or more guys together) |
| ww or ff | Multiple women (two or more women together) |
| t | Transgender individual |
| 4 | "Looking for" - the connector between who's posting and who they want |
Common Combinations
| Listing Type | What It Means |
|---|---|
| m4w | Man looking for a woman |
| w4m | Woman looking for a man |
| m4m | Man looking for a man |
| w4w | Woman looking for a woman |
| mw4mw | Couple looking for another couple |
| mw4m | Couple looking for a single man |
| mw4w | Couple looking for a single woman (often called a "unicorn") |
| m4mw | Single man looking for a couple |
| w4mw | Single woman looking for a couple |
| t4m | Transgender individual looking for a man |
| m4t | Man looking for a transgender individual |
Common Terms
- NSA
- No Strings Attached. A casual encounter with no expectation of a relationship or further contact.
- FWB
- Friends With Benefits. An ongoing casual sexual relationship between people who are also friends.
- DTF
- Down To... have Fun. Someone who is ready and willing for a casual encounter.
- DDF
- Drug and Disease Free. Someone claiming to be clean of STIs and not using recreational drugs.
- HWP
- Height/Weight Proportionate. A way of describing body type without giving exact measurements.
- BBC / BBW / BHM
- BBC = Big Black... man. BBW = Big Beautiful Woman. BHM = Big Handsome Man. Body type descriptors.
- Unicorn
- A single woman who is open to joining a couple. Called a "unicorn" because they're rare and highly sought after in the swinger community.
- Bull
- A single man who participates in encounters with couples, typically in a hotwife or cuckold dynamic.
- Hotwife
- A married woman who has sexual encounters with other men, with her husband's knowledge and encouragement. The husband may watch, participate, or simply enjoy knowing about it.
- Cuckold / Cuck
- A man whose wife or partner has sexual encounters with other men. Unlike hotwifing, cuckolding often includes an element of humiliation or power exchange.
- Stag and Vixen
- Similar to hotwife, but the "stag" (husband) takes a more confident, dominant role. No humiliation element. It's about shared enjoyment.
- Swinger
- A person (usually part of a couple) who engages in sexual activity with other people or couples as a recreational or social activity, typically with their partner's knowledge and participation.
- LS
- The Lifestyle. Shorthand for the swinging/non-monogamy lifestyle.
- Soft Swap
- Swinging activity that doesn't include full intercourse with the other couple. Typically oral sex, kissing, and touching.
- Full Swap
- Swinging activity that includes full sexual intercourse with the other couple.
- Same Room / Separate Room
- Whether couples play in the same room (can watch each other) or go to separate rooms for privacy.
- ENM
- Ethical Non-Monogamy. An umbrella term for relationship styles where all partners consent to non-exclusive arrangements. Includes swinging, polyamory, open relationships, etc.
- Poly / Polyamory
- Having romantic relationships with multiple people simultaneously, with everyone's knowledge and consent. Different from swinging in that it emphasizes emotional connections, not just physical.
- Open Relationship
- A relationship where partners agree that one or both can have sexual or romantic relationships with others.
- Play
- A general term for sexual activity, used to keep conversation discreet. "Looking to play" = looking for a sexual encounter.
- Discreet
- Wanting to keep the encounter private. Usually because one or both parties have public lives, careers, or social circles where this activity wouldn't be understood or accepted.
- Host / Travel
- "Can host" = has a private place to meet. "Can travel" = willing to come to you. "Can't host" = needs you to provide the location.
- MFM / FMF / MFF / MMF
- Threesome arrangements. The letter order indicates who interacts with whom. MFM = two men with a woman (men don't interact). MFF = a man with two women (women do interact). The middle position typically interacts with both ends.
A Note on Language
This glossary covers terms as they're commonly used in personal ads and the casual encounter community. Language evolves, and not everyone uses these terms the same way. When in doubt, ask. Clear communication is the foundation of any good encounter.